Love and Marriage

In 2002, Bravo took advantage of the controversy over same-sex marriage by producing an original reality miniseries entitled Gay Weddings. Exploring the trials and tribulations faced by four diverse gay couples as they plan and put together their dream weddings, Gay Weddings showcased four very different couples over five months as they coped with their own anxieties and hopes and contended with the attitudes and (sometimes surprising) reactions of others.

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Featuring four disparate settings--a private backyard wedding in the high desert, a tropical beach party in Puerto Vallarta, an elegant deco restaurant affair, and a Hollywood extravaganza--Gay Weddings chronicled the roller-coaster ride that is wedding planning from a decidedly non-traditional point of view. In the process, it underlined both the distinct concerns of gay and lesbian couples and their common aspirations for acceptance and recognition.

While Lehmkuhl and Arndt competed under the "married" banner on The Amazing Race, another mutation of the reality game shows featured gay men either vying for each other's attentions or, ironically, trying to outsmart a woman into thinking they were straight. Entertainment Weekly columnist Mandi Bierly has termed this sub-genre of reality television "Guess the Gay" games, and these shows feature gay men interspersed with straight male ringers competing for the affections of, alternately, a woman (Playing It Straight) or another man (Boy Meets Boy).

Not surprisingly, these guessing game competitions have attracted fierce criticism from the glbtq community, especially the shows' premise that gay men have distinctive physical features and/or mannerisms that mark them as homosexual. (In fact, however, the difficulty in distinguishing the gay and straight men on these shows effectively undercuts the offensive premise. If anything, the shows indicate how easy it is for gay men to pass as straight and for straight men to pass as gay.)

Since the dynamic of a gay man pretending to be straight in order to seduce a woman evokes painful memories of real life experience for many gay men and straight women, Playing It Straight was especially savaged. These shows, while mildly entertaining, did not receive the same high viewer interest as did shows like Survivor. Fox, faced with criticism and low ratings, abruptly cancelled Playing It Straight halfway through its run.

Boy Meets Boy, which pioneered in showing gay courting rituals, was criticized by its own star, James Getzlaff. On learning that some of the show's contestants were actually straight, Getzlaff complained bitterly that the show had the very real potential of turning into a practical joke. He also worried that the show played on stereotypes by reinforcing the idea that gay men secretly like straight men, but have to hide it.

Still, Boy Meets Boy offered gay viewers an opportunity to test their "gaydar" while observing a bevy of handsome men competing for the affections of another handsome man, a rarity on television.

As reality television entered fully in to the new millennium, the format of these shows changed once again, and yet another sub-genre was spawned: the "make-over" or "make-better" show. The viewing public, seemingly growing tired of variations on the competitive elimination reality game shows, turned increasingly to shows that provided an entertaining and learning experience. Thus was ushered in the era of the Queer Eye.

All Things Just Keep Getting Better: Queer Eyes and Gay Guys

The legend started innocently enough. According to television producer David Collins, as quoted in The Advocate, a Boston woman was berating her husband for his slovenly appearance. Pointing at four smartly dressed, groomed, and mannered gay men, she complained that her husband did not look like them. As Collins notes wryly, "What she needed was a queer eye for her straight guy." Collins then related this story to his straight producing partner, David Metzler, and the two began the creation of an unscripted lifestyle-makeover show. Thus was born Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.