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Nola
Joined: 27 Aug 2003
Posts: 1
Interests: film video editor and writer by profession.
interests are wilderness protection, movies
sailing, and meditation.
Physical Location: New York City
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| Posted: 27 Aug 2003, 8:23 pm Post subject: requesting feedback |
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I have just launched my website http://www.novelfeats.com. It's designed to feature my novel in monthly instalments. Nick Doughty's African Beginnings is a coming-of-age story set in Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) in 1952. I'd be v. interested to get some feedback -- i.e. Do you like the idea of serialized novels online? Does this particular story grab you? Would you want to read the next instalment? Suggestions anyone?
Cheers,
Nola
_________________
Visit my website: novelfeats.com - to read Nick Doughty's African Beginnings, a serialized novel for your entertainment. |
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anony
Joined: 01 May 2003
Posts: 18
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| Posted: 3 Sep 2003, 2:20 am Post subject: Re: requesting feedback |
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Hate to be picky, but on the first page of your site, you write "instalment." Hmm.
Should be "installment," at least in American English.
Spelling isn't everything, but...
And one ther fussy thing...: The pic on http://www.novelfeats.com./historical.htm is not there. Hard to take you seriously if the web site is messed up.
Don't want to be so harsh, but if you're asking for prime time, I'd like to see something a little tidier. |
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Gibeon
Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Posts: 22
Interests: HIstory, languages, writing, current events, movies
Physical Location: Memphis
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| Posted: 5 Sep 2003, 10:50 pm Post subject: Re: requesting feedback |
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| Nola wrote: | I have just launched my website http://www.novelfeats.com. It's designed to feature my novel in monthly instalments. Nick Doughty's African Beginnings is a coming-of-age story set in Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) in 1952. I'd be v. interested to get some feedback -- i.e. Do you like the idea of serialized novels online? Does this particular story grab you? Would you want to read the next instalment? Suggestions anyone?
Cheers,
Nola |
I enjoyed the opening chapter, Nola, and would like to read more. I like the way you have etched the action in a very particular time and place. The glossary is very helpful.
Your information is that you live in New York but are you originally from this part of Africa? If not, you have certainly convincingly created a believable story. I could feel the heat of the sun and the two children's adventure rang true to life.
The chapter was short enough to easily read without spending a long time doing so. Good job! |
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gstewart
Joined: 27 Oct 2003
Posts: 2
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| Posted: 27 Oct 2003, 9:38 am Post subject: Re: requesting feedback |
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| Quote: | Hate to be picky, but on the first page of your site, you write "instalment." Hmm.
Should be "installment," at least in American English.
Spelling isn't everything, but...
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The net's international - "instalment" is just fine... |
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Sword
Joined: 11 Jun 2005
Posts: 40
Interests: Writer, Champion of the underdogs, Lay Minister, Registered Massage Therapy, playing pool, dancing, gardening
Physical Location: Galveston,Texas,USA
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| Posted: 12 Jun 2005, 5:01 pm Post subject: encouragement |
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The person who critiqued your front page promptly misspelled other (ther) on his bottom line. "As they sew so shall they reap." That said, do look at all of your site for minor things like that. I did not proof your site. I was looking fof creativity and impact.
All in all I liked your front page. I do think that there is a market for installment work on the web. My work does not lend itself to that unfortunately. I enjoyed your first installment. It was evocative and moving for me.
If you deceide that you would like to go a different route later, in addition or instead, I might be able to help. Keep it up.
If you would like to see a little of my work it is referenced on this forum as 'A new book'. Good luck and I will pray for you.
Angel Eliza (Sword)
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I have published a book that Affirms that God Loves GLBT. Get a free Reconciler Gospel of Thomas.The pot of Gold was the last verse 114.
Verse 114 is on my website. |
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raymonddz
Joined: 26 Jun 2005
Posts: 1
Interests: reading; traveling; running; cooking; physical exercise
Physical Location: South Carolina
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| Posted: 3 Jul 2005, 8:17 am Post subject: Re: requesting feedback |
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| Nola wrote: | I have just launched my website http://www.novelfeats.com. It's designed to feature my novel in monthly instalments. Nick Doughty's African Beginnings is a coming-of-age story set in Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) in 1952. I'd be v. interested to get some feedback -- i.e. Do you like the idea of serialized novels online? Does this particular story grab you? Would you want to read the next instalment? Suggestions anyone?
Cheers,
Nola |
Nola, I just read the first installment, "The Omen," of your serialized novel. I like the vivid images, the old man's "dusty feet," the image of the white policeman pulling apart a cut on the old man's back and then wiping the blood on his pants. I also like the budding relationship between Nicky and Fuzz. You end this installment with a suggestion that Nicky has had some sort of epiphany: I think I would have wanted to read the second installment without that slight contrivance. She seems to be a very interesting character and I want to know more about her world. I look forward to reading the second installment later this afternoon. Thanks for the invitation to read and comment. |
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