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 Topic: breaking in to where I want to be

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Faucet  



Joined: 15 Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Interests: broncos, jumpsuits, making things and passion
Physical Location: Providence

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 5:38 pm    Post subject: breaking in to where I want to be Reply with quote

I have been in long term relationship with a man, and have recently felt like I was bursting at the seems to explore my sexuality. I have always been attracted to women but for some reason too scared to do anything about it. I have talked with my partner and although it is hard he wants me to explore it to. The problem is that I don't know where to begin and feel as though the lesbian community at my university is very tight knit. I also feel that they would look down on me. It's a strange position because I am deeply in love and at the same time needing something, needing to experience something I have always wanted. I am confused and feel somewhat alone. I don't want to be stymied by the stereotype of wishy washy bi-sexuals who are undecided, mostly because I don't feel undecided. I feel inexperienced. If it wasn't for my boyfriend I wonder where I would be and somehow feel like it would be so much easier to put myself out there. But, I am responsible for our feelings and don't want to cause pain. Any ideas? I would really apppreciate it.
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dana  



Joined: 15 Mar 2004
Posts: 4
Interests: photography, movies, lecture
Physical Location: Bucharest

Posted: 18 Mar 2004, 9:41 am    Post subject: Re: breaking in to where I want to be Reply with quote

Faucet wrote:
I have been in long term relationship with a man, and have recently felt like I was bursting at the seems to explore my sexuality. I have always been attracted to women but for some reason too scared to do anything about it. I have talked with my partner and although it is hard he wants me to explore it to. The problem is that I don't know where to begin and feel as though the lesbian community at my university is very tight knit. I also feel that they would look down on me. It's a strange position because I am deeply in love and at the same time needing something, needing to experience something I have always wanted. I am confused and feel somewhat alone. I don't want to be stymied by the stereotype of wishy washy bi-sexuals who are undecided, mostly because I don't feel undecided. I feel inexperienced. If it wasn't for my boyfriend I wonder where I would be and somehow feel like it would be so much easier to put myself out there. But, I am responsible for our feelings and don't want to cause pain. Any ideas? I would really apppreciate it.


i don't know if this will make your situation easier or if you will feel better, but i felt (sometimes, i feel) the same thing about men. i don't know what other women (straight, lesbian or bisexual or whatever) may think, but as long as you do things in your own way and make the things that you feel you want to do, there shouldn't be a problem. well...i don't know what to say to you, except that be yourself, whatever that means.
_________________
"la vie c'est comme le Tour de France"
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Faucet  



Joined: 15 Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Interests: broncos, jumpsuits, making things and passion
Physical Location: Providence

Posted: 18 Mar 2004, 10:55 am    Post subject: thanks Reply with quote

Thanks for you reply. I think it is hard when I know that it might hurt him. And at this point I know so little about my own desires to women. I get so shy around women that I'm attracted to so it's hard to really make it happen anyway. You would think that being that I have felt these attractions for so long towards various women that I have known, never a close friend, that I would feel somewhat at ease. But, I feel like such a novice. Not really able to tap into my sexual confidence. Like a little school girl again.
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Juli  



Joined: 01 Nov 2003
Posts: 1
Interests: Reading, sports, and life
Physical Location: Arizona

Posted: 20 Mar 2004, 1:12 pm    Post subject: Re: breaking in to where I want to be Reply with quote

Faucet wrote:
I have been in long term relationship with a man, and have recently felt like I was bursting at the seems to explore my sexuality. I have always been attracted to women but for some reason too scared to do anything about it. I have talked with my partner and although it is hard he wants me to explore it to. The problem is that I don't know where to begin and feel as though the lesbian community at my university is very tight knit. I also feel that they would look down on me. It's a strange position because I am deeply in love and at the same time needing something, needing to experience something I have always wanted. I am confused and feel somewhat alone. I don't want to be stymied by the stereotype of wishy washy bi-sexuals who are undecided, mostly because I don't feel undecided. I feel inexperienced. If it wasn't for my boyfriend I wonder where I would be and somehow feel like it would be so much easier to put myself out there. But, I am responsible for our feelings and don't want to cause pain. Any ideas? I would really apppreciate it.


I would suggest you look into your local Bi-Sexual Network (binet.org). I think you will find that your feelings are not uncommon. You have to be true to yourself. Just remember to be honest and open, like you have been with your boyfriend. Good luck on your journey.
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