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 Topic: Acceptance in Both Worlds

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Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 2

Physical Location: Richmond

Posted: 23 Mar 2004, 6:14 pm    Post subject: Acceptance in Both Worlds Reply with quote

We are all raised with this innate desire to want to “ fit in.” Some people want to be cool, some people want to be popular, some people want just to be liked or respected, some people just want to be noticed. In their own way, all of these desires are believed to bring the same thing, happiness. Homosexuals have to deal with these issues on a higher basis. All their life they are fighting with someone or something. That “someone” can span anywhere from himself/herself, their family, their friends, to society as a whole. There are rarely any moments where a homosexual stops fighting. Everything they do seems to be unacceptable to someone. Therefore, this leads to homosexuals to flock together. Its true what they say “birds of a feather flock together.” Within their clichés of gays or lesbians, a sense of security is met and when you are gay in a straight world, security is one of the hardest things to find (that and a sane partner but that’s another story). But what happens to the other homosexuals- the bisexuals and transgender?
Acceptance for these two groups isn’t easily found. Not everyone intends to segregate them but it unconsciously happens. Clichés form without people knowing. When with a group of gay men, a bisexual may be as if he/she is the odd man/woman out, just because she enjoys “playing” with woman. Same applies to when with a group of lesbians. I’m sure you are thinking, “well, then just hang out with other bisexuals.” All I have to say is easier said than done! It hard enough to find homosexuals; let alone a specific group among the rarity.
I can’t speak on the behalf of the transgender community but I can speak as a bisexual. Since I was a young girl, I knew life would be different for me. I knew I wasn’t going to me a normal conservative Catholic Asian princess all other Asian girls would become. In fact, I knew I was going to be the complete opposite and boy, was I right about that! After many, many, many, many years of wrestling with my sexuality, I came to my own personal acceptance- I am a bisexual. I know what I am and other people can deal with it. I like a person’s personality. I won’t let gender hold me down. We have all heard the saying, “ you can’t help who you fall in love with” and that’s exactly what I believe in (and to top it all I’m greedy. I want it all for myself including men and women.) Many homosexuals say that determining exactly what you are is the toughest battle you will have to face as a homosexual but I think this is far from the truth. I think the hardest time you will face as a homosexual is finding acceptance. Not just acceptance in society as a whole but acceptance into the homosexual community.
The title of “bisexual” has a very dirty aquatints to it. This aquatints is known as “attention grabber.” Many high school girls have been known to call themselves “bisexual” to grab the attention of young men. However, the thought of sleeping a girl disgust her as much as the idea of sleeping her with a family member. Yes, these girls have been known to kiss one or two girls in the past but nothing hot and heavy. These type of girls, eventually, never intimately date a girl and just keeps using the word as some type of pick up line. Thanks to these kind of “bisexuals,” which I enjoy to call liars, tend to bring down the entire bisexual community causing other homosexuals to frown upon them.
Therefore, many people are skeptics of people who claim to bisexual. It is as if you have to prove to them that you are a real bisexual. But how exactly is that done? I, myself, am not exactly sure how this goal can be achieved. I found the most effective way is to voice my sexual encounters. This is a very bold move but if you know me at all you know this is nothing out of the ordinary for me. Its wrong for even me to do this. A person shouldn’t have to expose their private lives just so he/she can find some sort of acceptance.
In modern society, acceptance is more liberally given than in the past but not liberally enough. Acceptance of a person is not something that should be earned. It is something that should just happen! No one should be singled out because of who they are. I think history should be changed and changed now. EVERYONE, not just heterosexuals, should be accepting of everyone else. If a person says they are gay, lesbian, transgender, or bisexual, they should be just believed and accepted. Just like war, the fighting and suffering should end. No one should have to fight.
"Trust a nitwit society like this one to think that there are only two categories - fag and straight. "
~Gore Vidal
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Joined: 01 May 2004
Posts: 12
Interests: I like people who make sense and I like to make sense of people, in a world that sometimes makes little sense.
Physical Location: Amsterdam

Posted: 4 May 2004, 3:31 pm    Post subject: Fit in? Reply with quote

I arranged an aid flight for the victims of an earthquake in Afghanistan, negotiated the funding for a drinking water project in Somalia, designed and managed a program that (re)built 40+ schools for 13.000 pupils in Kosovo, once even saved a young man from torture (Sri Lanka), etc. etc., and yet just because I'm a fag I get treated like a nobody. I've had that experience over and over again. So why bother trying to fit in, even if you do, they treat you like a nobody.
It's not about fitting in. It's about being able to live with yourself. This is what I tell my lover (raised by homophobes and finally emerging from a 25 year depression): the only expectations there are to live up to are your own and those that you create; living up to other people's expectations of you is wasted energy; beging gay and shunned is a wonderful opportunity to come into your true own, the autopilot is not meant for you; ultimately the world that really matters is not the big one, but the small one of friends and a few true relatives, the world you build for yourself.
Harry Trotsky
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