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 Topic: confused! androgyny and being bi.

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honey_bee  
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Posted: 3 Sep 2007, 9:28 pm    Post subject: confused! androgyny and being bi. Reply with quote

hey everyone! im new here, and i need some advice.
okay so, i dont necessarily care about determining exactly what my sexuality is, as i do believe that it isn't just black and white. i am just confused! most of the time when i listen to lesbians or bisexual women they are usually attracted to...well...women. girls with long hair and boobs and stuff. not me. one girl who i could say i have a crush on is kim stolz from americas next top model, when she had her short hair. i guess you could say it's kind of a girl crush or something as she does look boyish and androgynous. but i myself am really tomboyish and androgynous.
what does this mean? D: im also attracted to guys, but usually guys who are slightly on the androgynous side with longish hair. like maybe brian molko from placebo in his younger days, but minus the lipstick. or someone who i think is majorly hot is bill kaulitz from tokio hotel.
but HE is attracted to mary-kate olsen, and that is not what im like. all guys, no matter what they look like, seem to be attracted to the same type of girl and it confuses and upsets me. and girls like kim stolz seem to be attracted to the SAME type of girl. but i could be wrong, i cant say for sure who someone is attracted to.
i just dont really understand myself! in terms of sex i think it would be easier for me to have sex with a woman than it would be for me to have it with a man as id be really really nervous with a man (i am not sexually active)
my parents are really open minded about it (my mom has lesbian friends and i went to their 'wedding'.) but i havent told anyone about it because im not really sure whether it is just me being attracted to boys and boyish girls.
im just wondering if anyone can give me any advice, or if they went through this, or if they even think they know what im talking about. i listen to my friends talk about how hot someone like this is :

and it confuses me as someone like that, of course, i could be friends with but i dont think i would ever be attracted to him.
what is up with me?
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honey_bee  
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Posted: 3 Sep 2007, 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

also, im not sure if this was clear but im a girl. xD
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"J"  



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 5
Interests: poetry, writing, music, work, philosophy, kids, art, playing the flute and fife.
Physical Location: Connecticut

Posted: 26 Sep 2007, 11:12 am    Post subject: Re: confused! androgyny and being bi. Reply with quote

honey_bee wrote:
hey everyone! im new here, and i need some advice.
okay so, i dont necessarily care about determining exactly what my sexuality is, as i do believe that it isn't just black and white. i am just confused! most of the time when i listen to lesbians or bisexual women they are usually attracted to...well...women. girls with long hair and boobs and stuff. not me. one girl who i could say i have a crush on is kim stolz from americas next top model, when she had her short hair. i guess you could say it's kind of a girl crush or something as she does look boyish and androgynous. but i myself am really tomboyish and androgynous.
what does this mean? D: im also attracted to guys, but usually guys who are slightly on the androgynous side with longish hair. like maybe brian molko from placebo in his younger days, but minus the lipstick. or someone who i think is majorly hot is bill kaulitz from tokio hotel.
but HE is attracted to mary-kate olsen, and that is not what im like. all guys, no matter what they look like, seem to be attracted to the same type of girl and it confuses and upsets me. and girls like kim stolz seem to be attracted to the SAME type of girl. but i could be wrong, i cant say for sure who someone is attracted to.
i just dont really understand myself! in terms of sex i think it would be easier for me to have sex with a woman than it would be for me to have it with a man as id be really really nervous with a man (i am not sexually active)
my parents are really open minded about it (my mom has lesbian friends and i went to their 'wedding'.) but i havent told anyone about it because im not really sure whether it is just me being attracted to boys and boyish girls.
im just wondering if anyone can give me any advice, or if they went through this, or if they even think they know what im talking about. i listen to my friends talk about how hot someone like this is :

and it confuses me as someone like that, of course, i could be friends with but i dont think i would ever be attracted to him.
what is up with me?

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"J"  



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 5
Interests: poetry, writing, music, work, philosophy, kids, art, playing the flute and fife.
Physical Location: Connecticut

Posted: 26 Sep 2007, 11:18 am    Post subject: Re: confused! androgyny and being bi. Reply with quote

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to steal your stuff this website won't let you reply directly, its kinda confusing.
I know exactly what you mean/feel just I'm strictly a lesbian and so not into guys. I like more masculine women just cause I'm an androgynous person. i defy gender stereotypes and am tomboyish.
Only you know what kind of a lesbian you are and who you are attracted to. I'm guessing you like androgynous/butch women and thats okay.
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"Love me or hate me but don't hurt me. I love life too much to die. Don't kill me because of your anger. Love me for being human."
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JudgeMe  



Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
Interests: i like androgynous people => and dark hair hehe

Posted: 13 Nov 2007, 9:00 am    Post subject: :o no way Reply with quote

omfg, i know EXACTLY , and i say EXACTLY what ur talkin bout! :O
everyone says Bill Kaulitz from tokio hotel looks like a girl, but i don't fucking care CAUZ HE'S HOT!!!
yeah i thought i was straight, but i really get turned on by tomboys with short hair..
just the way they dress, and their looks are just HOT! <3
i LOVE:
Winona Ryder in : Girl interrupted with angelina jolie
Angelina jolie in : Hackers
The topmodel Omahyra Mota hmmm...
one girl in Holland's next topmodel with short dark hair..WOW
i don't like blond, cause its less boyish..
and emo boys are FUCKING hot aswell, cause they look girlish but boyish at the same time:D
im gonna google that girl from ANTM muwhhaha i thiknk u have the same taste !
x
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blablala
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JudgeMe  



Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
Interests: i like androgynous people => and dark hair hehe

Posted: 13 Nov 2007, 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i mean her! yummm* :
http://www.modelmasters.nl/pages/renderpage/470
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blablala
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transdyke  



Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 14
Interests: music of most genres, poetry, art, computer graphics and special effects, theatre, enviromontal protection, modern history, architecture, the ongoing search for the gay gene, the pursuit and survival tactics of life, i guess i do it all...
Physical Location: hick town, minnesota

Posted: 7 Dec 2007, 11:30 pm    Post subject: Re: confused! androgyny and being bi. Reply with quote

i remember being like that....not having a strictly defined orination, attraction or type, general feeling of confusion/frustration and being stuck in the middle. it's part of the continuing process we all have (my process for example: i tried to force myself straight, stayed comfortably bisexual for while, then my masculinity became more defined and i realized that the men i was attracted to were turning into the man i wanted to be, and now i consider myself a lesbian and a man)
ok so obviously it's different for everybody, but the mindset is the same. to me it sounds like your on your way out of the confusion. it's important to be comfortable with and understand yourself, but you dont have to stress it. just remember that it's an ongoing process and try to be patient.
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cathyjule  



Joined: 08 Dec 2007
Posts: 1


Posted: 8 Dec 2007, 9:10 am    Post subject: Sexy bi singles&couples looking to explore their sexuali Reply with quote

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