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 Topic: confussed and worried

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comit  



Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 6


Posted: 10 Sep 2007, 4:08 pm    Post subject: confussed and worried Reply with quote

me and my partner have been in a realtionship for around 9 months in the past two months i have moved in with him and about 2 weeks ago he told me that he liked ot dress up in womens clothing and has done so since about the age of 6 (hes now 27) but he stoped a few months before we got together. i fully support him and he has within the past few weeks started to dress up again. hes tried to explain that its not just a sexual reason and that he doesnt want to become a women but im still confussed and worried that later on in life that i may lose him.i dont think that i could cope if he was to say that he wanted to become a women i kno that when he was 21 he was given an option to and he turned it down as he felt it wasnt right for him but im still worried that in years to come he mite change his mind. basically i would advice from people who have been in the same suitution either as the transvestite or as a transvestites partner there is only so much that one can learn from websites. i dont want to make him feel uncofortable or make him think that im going to leave him because of this and am scared to talk about the fact that i many lose him shes adament that i wont but its still a major worry that i have. im so confussed and feel that i cant talk to my friends or family about it any help or advice given would be warmly recieved thanks for reading my long ramblings lol
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gennee  



Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 414
Interests: reading, writing, poetry, transgender issues, gospel, veteran's issues,jazz,education,religion,literature,Native-American and African culture,lighthouses,trails,castles,tractor trailers, playwriting, biograhies, electronics, bass guitar
Physical Location: new york

Posted: 11 Sep 2007, 9:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am a transvestite and I do understand your concern, comit. SOme feel that they in the wrong body and feel that sex reassignmet surgery can correct. Many don't have the surgery because it is quite expensive.

I'm not saying that this is the case with your boyfriend, but the posssibility. I was asked this question myself. I have no desire to transition from male to female. I'm equally comfortable with my masculinity and femininity. I enjoy wearing women's clothing as much as I do wearing mens.

Perhaps, he may want to dress part or full time as woman. Please keep us posted on what is happening.

Gennee
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comit  



Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 6


Posted: 12 Sep 2007, 1:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi gennee thanks for your reply its really appreciated. Things are pretty much the same. He'd told me that he onl wants to dress part time as a women that some weeks he may do it every day then the next maybe only once.

We did do shopping yeterday which was a strange expirence i was actively looking at clothes for him he didnt think that i would be as comfortable as i was. Infact he was the one who was nervous lol.

Im very open minded as you can probly tell. i also think hes scared because his ex use to get turned on by him dressed as a women and he wasnt allowed to dress up unless she let him. But him been dressed like that doesnt turn me on ive told him that id never ask him to get dressed but if he wanted to i anit gunna stop him. So with that in mind i think hes a little hesitant to do it as much as he'd like.

Bit of a personal question gennee but do you have a partner and if so how do you deal/cope (sorry cant think of the right word ) with this issue
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gennee  



Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 414
Interests: reading, writing, poetry, transgender issues, gospel, veteran's issues,jazz,education,religion,literature,Native-American and African culture,lighthouses,trails,castles,tractor trailers, playwriting, biograhies, electronics, bass guitar
Physical Location: new york

Posted: 12 Sep 2007, 11:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am married. My wife partially accepts my dressing and my son is cool with it. She doesn't stop me from dressing but I know how far I can go. I'm thankful that she is partially accepting. I know some crossdressers whose spouses are not accepting at all.

Gennee
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comit  



Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 6


Posted: 13 Sep 2007, 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

would like to say that i know what you mean gennee but as you gathered im pretty new to all this. i can understand why some spouses wouldnt like it.But at the end of the day its still the same person person that you feel in love with. In my case its just his dress sence thats different but im not with him because of his dress sence im not that shallow.
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gennee  



Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 414
Interests: reading, writing, poetry, transgender issues, gospel, veteran's issues,jazz,education,religion,literature,Native-American and African culture,lighthouses,trails,castles,tractor trailers, playwriting, biograhies, electronics, bass guitar
Physical Location: new york

Posted: 14 Sep 2007, 10:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It took my wife some time to process it. It was a shock to her. I told her that she is the one that I love. She accepted that dressing up is a part of me.

Learn all you can about crossdressing. A book I recommend is "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd. It's an excellent book by the wife of a crossdresser. I Will list a few more when I get the titles.

Gennee
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comit  



Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 6


Posted: 18 Sep 2007, 12:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks gennee ill look for it when i go shopping next.
im trying to learn as much as i can ive joined roses forum too hoping that will help me too
i would just like to say thanks for offering me your advice and expirence its greatly appricated and hope that we carry on talking
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comit  



Joined: 09 Sep 2007
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Posted: 21 Sep 2007, 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi again

just thought id let ya kno that the book ya recomended is on order at am local store and sud be here by middle of next week
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gennee  



Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 414
Interests: reading, writing, poetry, transgender issues, gospel, veteran's issues,jazz,education,religion,literature,Native-American and African culture,lighthouses,trails,castles,tractor trailers, playwriting, biograhies, electronics, bass guitar
Physical Location: new york

Posted: 22 Sep 2007, 9:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's great. I hope you enjoy it. Another book I would recommend is "Transgender Warrior" by Leslie Feinberg. It help me understand the role transgender and crossdressers played in many of our social movements.

Gennee
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