[transdyke]

I'm having a hard time dealing with myself while waiting to begin my transition. I've done some research started on my timeline etc. I know that I have to graduate and start a career before surgeries. The thing is I just can't stand being trapped in a female body. It's like a prison only made bearable with my girlfriend at limited visiting hours.
I think I'm starting to lose my mind... well you be the judge: binding tight enought to make it hurt to breath, nightmares of Brandon Teena's ghost and pre-Stonewall drag kings, I've almost stolen testosterone a few times. Most days I want to hack the breasts off myself and give them to my MTF friend!!! (Suicidal and impossible, but I still want to do it.)

There has got to be some one out there that has seen or experienced something like this. Any experience or advice/opinions would be helpful.
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remember the riots