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 Topic: journal of a gay guy-please review

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mathewnic  



Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 1
Interests: current affairs the arts
Physical Location: london uk

Posted: 10 Jul 2005, 1:16 pm    Post subject: journal of a gay guy-please review Reply with quote

first 4 chapters completed, any feedback would be apprieciated,please bare in mind have not yet gotten to the heart of the book-some swearing some sexual reference
my website http://mathewnickse16.tripod.com/
journal/auto bigraphy -non-fiction
nick phillips
title -just an ordinary guy
diary/journal-of a gay guy/some sexual references
to include-
1 childhood
2 first love
3 scene years
4 coming out
5 first real love/lost
6 angel's personal revealation nervous breakdown spiritual breakthrough/ awakening
7 experience of telepathy
8 study of consciousness/holgram/string theory/relativity
8 move to city/london
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bluecheck  



Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 3


Posted: 31 Jul 2005, 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Matt,
I went to your home page and was actually going to take the time to read and comment on your writing as you requested. I've had some books published as well as other writing and have been told by my peers, editors, and readers that I'm pretty damn good at what I do.

I also noticed at your site that Matt, you're most definitely hot. You're a good looking guy. Even so, I can tell you categorically that there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that I'm going to spend any of my money for the chance to link to your rough draft so I can take my own time to critique what may well need a lot of work to be readable anyway.

For example: if your posting here is any indication of your writing there, both your spelling and word usage need work. Appreciated is mistyped/misspelled. bare should be bear, etc.
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"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today." Isaac Asimov
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Joe887775  



Joined: 18 Aug 2005
Posts: 6
Interests: A Curious and Open Mind has something to Find and better Understand.
Physical Location: Southern California

Posted: 23 Aug 2005, 1:46 am    Post subject: Re: journal of a gay guy-please review Reply with quote

I respect that you are writing a journal and have a web page. After reading your comments about the Bible I thought I would remind you that One of the Most Respected Authors of the Bible is King David who wrote most of the Psalms. Besides playing the harp, slaying a Giant, removing the foreskins of 200 Philistines, being a dancer, the greatest King of Israel and most quoted by Jesus, What you may not know that His greatest Love was for a Man, Johathan.

"Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. And Jonathan stripped off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, his sword and bow and belt." I Samuel 12:3-4"
It is actually, 1 Samual 18 versuses 1 thru 4...
"1. And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 3. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle."

Now when taken in context...
The friendship of David and Jonathan was the effect of Divine grace, which produces in true believers one heart and one soul, and causes them to love each other. This union of souls is not a carnal union. Those who love Christ as their own souls, will be willing to join themselves to him (Christ) in an everlasting covenant. It was certainly a great proof of the power of God's grace in David, that he was able to bear all this respect and honour, without being overpowered and taken over by egotism and vanity.
Jonathan's death alongside his father in battle with the Philistines occasions from David this powerful lament: "The beauty of Israel is slain upon the high places; how are the mighty fallen! . . .

I am very distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love was wonderful, passing the love of women" (2 Sam. 1:19-26).


mathewnic wrote:
first 4 chapters completed, any feedback would be apprieciated,please bare in mind have not yet gotten to the heart of the book-some swearing some sexual reference
my website http://mathewnickse16.tripod.com/
journal/auto bigraphy -non-fiction
nick phillips
title -just an ordinary guy
diary/journal-of a gay guy/some sexual references
to include-
1 childhood
2 first love
3 scene years
4 coming out
5 first real love/lost
6 angel's personal revealation nervous breakdown spiritual breakthrough/ awakening
7 experience of telepathy
8 study of consciousness/holgram/string theory/relativity
8 move to city/london

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