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 Topic: Long Term Gay Male Relationships

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dchartzog  



Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 2
Interests: Musical theatre; dance; reading; HIV/AIDS data; & quiet times with old friends. Would like to meet individuals who enjoy the same, like long talks over dinner in quiet place. Am an old fashioned romantic.
Physical Location: Dallas, Texas

Posted: 27 Apr 2003, 9:43 pm    Post subject: Long Term Gay Male Relationships Reply with quote

I'm a therapist in private practice in Dallas, Tx. I'm looking for personal stories of Gay male couple who have been together longer than 10 years and have been monogmous. I'm interested in what you think is the main reasons that you have been able to stay together. What worked in your relationship, were there books you read that helped through tough times, what are the good things that have kept you together.

This is not for any kind of bood, or research study. The stories can be submitted without your names, all information identifing you specifically would be kept confidential.

So many of my Gay male clients come in believing that long term monogmous relationships either don't exist in our community, or that if they do, they're not "the norm". I'm just looking for stories to share in those kind of sessions that present a different view and get the individuals thinking about the "myths" of Gay relationships vs. the "reality" of them.
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anony  



Joined: 01 May 2003
Posts: 18


Posted: 1 May 2003, 12:14 am    Post subject: Re: Long Term Gay Male Relationships Reply with quote

dchartzog wrote:
I'm a therapist in private practice in Dallas, Tx. I'm looking for personal stories of Gay male couple who have been together longer than 10 years and have been monogmous. I'm interested in what you think is the main reasons that you have been able to stay together. What worked in your relationship, were there books you read that helped through tough times, what are the good things that have kept you together.

This is not for any kind of bood, or research study. The stories can be submitted without your names, all information identifing you specifically would be kept confidential.

So many of my Gay male clients come in believing that long term monogmous relationships either don't exist in our community, or that if they do, they're not "the norm". I'm just looking for stories to share in those kind of sessions that present a different view and get the individuals thinking about the "myths" of Gay relationships vs. the "reality" of them.


My partner and I have been together monogamously for more than 20 years.

I don't know that there's a secret. We are both the marrying kind. One thing that I think has helped is that we have avoided some of the usual gay hot spots like bars and baths that encourage people to get a little on the side. We didn't really set out to do that on purpose, but neither of us is especially attracted to those venues.

The other thing that probably helped is that one of us was married (to a woman) before we got together, so it sort of made sense for him to pair up with me. He liked married life (except for the heterosexual part), and I wasn't really into the promiscuity thing either. I have always been a one man man.

Lots of friends are single or playing the field, but I've never known an "open" couple that was truly happy, or even lasted as a couple for too long. I am sure it works for some people, but I don't know them!

I don't know if our relationship is the norm that you describe, but I really don't much care!
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anony  



Joined: 01 May 2003
Posts: 18


Posted: 1 May 2003, 12:17 am    Post subject: Re: Long Term Gay Male Relationships Reply with quote

BTW, are you involved in a monogamous relationship?
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